Monday, 13 October 2014

No.15 West Middlesex University Hospital, Isleworth London

No.15 West Middlesex University Hospital

I'd imagined that hospital canteen breakfasts were little more than a flax seed smoothie and a stick of celery but it turns out that the NHS will happily clog your arteries for you and then patch you up afterwards. In the foyer to the hospital I'd walked past professionals trying to raise awareness of heart disease and it was with this put firmly to the back of my mind that I strode with undue confidence into the canteen while disinfecting my hands from the wall dispenser.

The fry up scene at the hospital was not thriving, the place was pretty much empty with only a few early morning staff members eating while watching the Oscar Pistorious verdict on 24Hour news. Despite this I was determined to see breakfast justice done.

The Fryup

Nil by mouth
The price was good. It was £2.85 for five items but I decided to go for seven which made it a bit more. The ketchup was 12p. (Shocking.)

You did get to serve yourself with tongs which was quite fun but overall this breakfast was a poor show. If you've decided to throw caution, and basic medical advice, to the wind and take on a Full English at the hospital then you should at least be able to enjoy it, but this was awful.

The sausage was such poor quality that I could have just as easily spread it on the fried bread as a pate. The fried bread was only the really positive element. It was warm and tasty but the bacon was so hard that it was more like Jerky. I was tempted to use the bacon as a leathery spoon for the beans and am now sad that I didn't.


Crowded
The black pudding was dry and fell apart when you tried to stab it with a fork. You had to use the expensive ketchup as a sort of cement to keep it together long enough to get it in your mouth. I finished it while wondering why I had finished it. All fryups suffer a bit when kept warm under lights but there is no excuse for the quality of items on offer here.

In conclusion, I'd say that if you're a hospital serving a dangerously unhealthy breakfast make sure that you do it well. Thank heavens I was only yards from A&E.

Needless to say afterwards I certainly was a full English. 5/10

3 comments:

  1. A masterful account of a shocking breakfast!

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  2. I think you're being a bit harsh here. The mushrooms and hash brown look ok and they don't even get a mention? Its also very cheap.
    Although not a view I hold, some may consider the sharing and refilling of ketchup bottles unhygienic, hence the reason for the sachets. I'm not sure what you would consider a fair price but you don't get much for under 10p these days and sachets like this are usually 20p+ in your average chippy.
    I suspect that there is some sort of political undercurrent here and in fact this is UKIP propaganda. No doubt you would expect to be happier in a privatised NHS canteen eating a kings 10/10 breakfast off of one of Farage's gold plates?

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    Replies
    1. Steady on Trotsky. No politics, it was just awful.

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