No 5. The Hounslow Council Civic Centre Canteen.

No 5. Hounslow Council Civic Centre Canteen. Hounslow, London.


Some of the breakfasts have seen your Editor go far afield, but it's also vital to see what is available on home turf. Thus, my attentions turned to my place of work: The Hounslow Civic Centre. which supplies a Fryup for the early hungry worker and the odd vacant local. I was accompanied on my quest by colleague Kate Mccann (not that Kate Mccann).


An ordered line of Hash Browns makes
for an ordered Borough.



Work Makes Free

As the canteen had served me a struck match in a Ratatoille a few months ago, it was with some fear that I attended the canteen at 8:30am. What's greater cause for concern is that rather than showing any contrition for trying to ruin the roof of my mouth, the staff have instead pegged me as an oddball complainer and seem to be seeing it as a game of cat and mouse that over time they have good chance of winning.


Amid the monastic quiet of the early canteen there seemed to be a tacit air of shame among the Hounslow fryup pilgrims who were queueing for breakfast. The furtive glances round to see who is watching them buying a naughty egg and sausage roll were reinforced by the giving of the toast in a paper bag, making one feel like an American parkbench drunk. Once out of the bag the toast was seeded and lovely.




A bag full of toast

The Breakfast:

I had the seven items for £2.50 and decided to invest in a Apple Juice, this being £1.20 and tiny ruined some of the value in the breakfast but it was still good.

The warming lights are a varied influence on any Full English; the Sausages and Mushrooms can benefit from a marinade under warm lights, whereas Hash Browns go floppy rendering them ineffectual. These had been under the lights of some time and were awful. No one wants a flaccid Brown.



Bleak

The sausage was excellent! Good taste and well cooked, a real star turn although we are old friend as any unbought sangers are cut up cold and put in the lunch salad bar.



Your editor: A belly full of regret.

When the keeper of the food reached under the sneezeguard to serve me my beans the notable thing was how much bean juice there was at the top of the giant container. Needless to say that any bean supplier that offers 50% sauce need to be changed. As you can see the beans were small and shiny: Not good.

The Bacon and Egg were enjoyable if a little bland but the tomatoes were something of a miss. Not cooked enough to be fried and not boiled; just sort of lacking in direction, cut open and plonked on.

Overall it was no more than OK, and in the real world it just wouldn't cut it. But I think I got it wrong; it's best to go for the cheaper five items for £1.99. Then you just don't have the Browns/Beans/Tomato and enjoy a tres cheap pesudo fryup. There is a point to this. It's much lighter, great value and condusive to a day at the social care pitface.

Needless to say afterwards I certainly was a Full English!

5/10

No.4 Onshore Cafe, St Ives Cornwall

No.4 Onshore Cafe, St Ives Cornwall

And so the fates had it that Roland Phillips and I would be in St Ives, Cornwall.  For once we did as we had said over liquors at the end of dinner the night before: we actually got up early and went for a swim (Kat stayed in the tent). Porthmeor Beach was almost empty when we got down there at 7:45am and the surf was about 4 foot. We got knocked around quite a bit by the waves but it was a wonderful start to the day...I may still have been a bit drunk. Afterwards we walked into the village looking for a fry up.  

The Fry up

May it be first said that this is a strongly Cornish-separatist (non violent) blog which sees Cornwall as a valid separate country. It was with that in mind that Roland and I were tempted in to the 'Onshore Cafe' in St Ives for what they describe as the "Full Cornish". The Full Cornish's main drawback was the shocking price: £8.50 is far too much. Like a lot of places they play games with big and small breakfasts for different prices, but this is an evening meal price. Roland pointed out that a coffee is thrown in which offsets some of the cost. I had tea.

Such a high price breeds resentment; one is harsh with any failings and takes victories for granted. This could be seen in Roland pointing out a sort of clear mushroom "jus" that was on his plate unbidden, describing it as 'not on the menu'. 

That mushroom was bloody nice

The beans were arranged as a sort of central lake that the other elements were set around. This can cause a moisture crisis but to conteract this the toast was excellent: thick and multi-seeded, thus soaking up the wetter elements beautifully and making a great platform for my signature move of ending up with just an egg yolk on a correspondingly small bit of toast then eating it in one...try it and you won't look back.

The sausage was described as "local" on the menu and the mushroom was "field". The sausage was tasty and high quality (it had to be for price). The mushroom was big and tasty but, as with a lot of posh breakfasts (for it was one) they only included one. The Fry up is a hearty, earthy meal, and this kind of 'Nouvelle Cuisine' hangover has no place in the genre. In truth, the cafe was trying to get the posh pound from those with boats and second homes in the town not the weekend campers like ourselves.

...a rather saucy Observer.

In the end the Full Cornish held no real difference to the Full English. Although overall it was too posh and expensive the vista was lovely and ultimately highly enjoyable.

Needless to say afterwards I was a 'Full English'.


www.onshore-stives.co.uk